Now I know very well that my rule for this project is that I have to respond to everyone that messages me, but I ask you, dear reader, how does one properly answer a message such as "Was up? U r hot."?
I suppose a polite "thank you" works, but where do you go from there? Besides, I would really like to go on a date that won't inevitably turn into an English lesson.
Though, I must say - while sifting through handfuls of monosyllabic, misspelled attempts at a true "love connection" - I have found a few messages that actually caught my attention. Trust me ladies, it's all in the approach. I am so much more inclined to respond to a message which not only is longer than a few words but also shows signs of the genuine effort Bachelor #1 put into writing it.
For example, "Dog Guy*" sent me a message, after viewing my photos, that we have the same breed of dog then proceeded to ask me about mine and tell me about his. He was followed by "The Quizmaster" who thoroughly read my profile and asked me a series of in depth questions to learn more about me. When either party makes that sort of effort on the front end I find that the conversation tends to flow much, much more comfortably.
I have to say that so far I am a sucker for the guys who take the time to read my profile and tailor their message to me as opposed to those who are under the impression that dates are won simply by telling a woman how "hot" she is in her photos.
Alas, there's no such thing as a free lunch - apparently even the convenience of internet dating must be tempered by the idiocy of a few would-be Casanovas.
Until I can emerge from under this growing stack of dating site messages,
Kristin
*Nicknames given to protect privacy and to help me keep everyone straight!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
How many times can a girl fill out a list of hobbies?
In this post I will review the sign up processes of each of the three free* dating sites (DownToEarth, PlentyOfFish, and OkCupid) but first I want to delineate the rules I want to hold myself to during this project.
Basically, dear reader, I want to make sure I give every guy a fair chance (after all, you never know who you may fall for) while staying safe and being responsible.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, on with the reviews!
DownToEarth - A relatively simple sign up process, very straight forward. During sign up you fill out some pretty specific information about yourself and your interests and very specific information about the type of person you are looking for. All standard search criteria including smoking, children, marital status, etc.
Pros: DownToEarth is very concerned with profile accuracy. Any information posted in a profile is required to be correct. Anyone found to be lying in their profile will have their account deleted from the site.
Cons: There do not seem to be many users on this website, so when you factor in your matches and search criteria the pickings are slim. This site doesn't have any sort of chemistry matching or personality tests you can take to help narrow your search.
RATING: (D+)
-So far I am less than impressed.
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PlentyOfFish - Once again, quick to sign up (they all seem to promote that feature). Not as many ultra-detailed questions to answer when it comes to your profile content, they sort of let you pick and choose what you'd like to say about yourself.
Pros: This site has a literal ton of members, gotta love fishing in a bigger pond! It also lets you set exact criteria when it comes to which men can even send you a message. For example, to message me you have to be male, between the ages of 23 and 29, and you must not be looking for an "intimate encounter". Good, I don't want someone messaging me just to get busy. You can also require a picture and a maximum distance from your zip code among other things. There are a good number of very in depth personality and chemistry tests to take (be forwarned, most take about five minutes to thoroughly complete) but they provide an in depth analysis you can read when you are finished.
Cons: I've been playing on the site and can't figure out how to get the instant message feature to work. I keep seeing a lot of the same faces on my "match" page, but I think as your membership ages day to day you get more.
RATING: ( A-)
-This one is the front runner so far. We'll see if it continues to be my favorite.
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OkCupid - Standard sign up and profile questions. However, this one also comes with an endless supply of questions to help you narrow down your matches, some of which are pretty unusual (i.e. "How often do you brush your teeth?" and "Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?") along with more run of the mill questions. You select your "perfect match"'s answer to the same set of questions and rate how much their answer matters to you from irrelevant to mandatory.
Pros: OkCupid has a handy progress bar when signing up to let you know your profile strength and what you can do to make your profile more interesting and complete. It has a wide selection of detailed personality questions that vary in purpose and content.
Cons: That same progress bar, though helpful in getting you on your dating way, becomes a bit tedious. They want your "about me" section in your profile to be 500 words long, which by any standard starts to sound a little stuck up. In my opinion that doesn't leave much to talk about when someone finally messages you.
RATING: (B+)
-This site seems to have a lot of potential but I will have to explore it some more to really form an opinion.
Overall I have enjoyed setting up my profiles and now all that's left to do is see what sort of messages come my way.
Until next time and sweet dreams,
Kristin
*I wanted to keep the sites I use free, dear reader, to allow anyone who is interested in internet dating to be able to do so without any financial limitations.
**By meet I mean just that. Until I've known a man for some time I will not give him my address and neither should you.
- Unless the "creeper alarm" in my head goes off upon reading a man's message to me I will respond to his messages in turn and go on a date with him if asked to do so.
- I will maintain a smart and safe attitude at all times and will not meet** any man anywhere less than a very public location (read: Starbucks, sporting area, etc.) for a date.
- I will not give out my phone number until I have met and gone out with a man at least once.
Basically, dear reader, I want to make sure I give every guy a fair chance (after all, you never know who you may fall for) while staying safe and being responsible.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, on with the reviews!
DownToEarth - A relatively simple sign up process, very straight forward. During sign up you fill out some pretty specific information about yourself and your interests and very specific information about the type of person you are looking for. All standard search criteria including smoking, children, marital status, etc.
Pros: DownToEarth is very concerned with profile accuracy. Any information posted in a profile is required to be correct. Anyone found to be lying in their profile will have their account deleted from the site.
Cons: There do not seem to be many users on this website, so when you factor in your matches and search criteria the pickings are slim. This site doesn't have any sort of chemistry matching or personality tests you can take to help narrow your search.
RATING: (D+)
-So far I am less than impressed.
-----------------------------------------------
PlentyOfFish - Once again, quick to sign up (they all seem to promote that feature). Not as many ultra-detailed questions to answer when it comes to your profile content, they sort of let you pick and choose what you'd like to say about yourself.
Pros: This site has a literal ton of members, gotta love fishing in a bigger pond! It also lets you set exact criteria when it comes to which men can even send you a message. For example, to message me you have to be male, between the ages of 23 and 29, and you must not be looking for an "intimate encounter". Good, I don't want someone messaging me just to get busy. You can also require a picture and a maximum distance from your zip code among other things. There are a good number of very in depth personality and chemistry tests to take (be forwarned, most take about five minutes to thoroughly complete) but they provide an in depth analysis you can read when you are finished.
Cons: I've been playing on the site and can't figure out how to get the instant message feature to work. I keep seeing a lot of the same faces on my "match" page, but I think as your membership ages day to day you get more.
RATING: ( A-)
-This one is the front runner so far. We'll see if it continues to be my favorite.
-----------------------------------------------
OkCupid - Standard sign up and profile questions. However, this one also comes with an endless supply of questions to help you narrow down your matches, some of which are pretty unusual (i.e. "How often do you brush your teeth?" and "Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?") along with more run of the mill questions. You select your "perfect match"'s answer to the same set of questions and rate how much their answer matters to you from irrelevant to mandatory.
Pros: OkCupid has a handy progress bar when signing up to let you know your profile strength and what you can do to make your profile more interesting and complete. It has a wide selection of detailed personality questions that vary in purpose and content.
Cons: That same progress bar, though helpful in getting you on your dating way, becomes a bit tedious. They want your "about me" section in your profile to be 500 words long, which by any standard starts to sound a little stuck up. In my opinion that doesn't leave much to talk about when someone finally messages you.
RATING: (B+)
-This site seems to have a lot of potential but I will have to explore it some more to really form an opinion.
Overall I have enjoyed setting up my profiles and now all that's left to do is see what sort of messages come my way.
Until next time and sweet dreams,
Kristin
*I wanted to keep the sites I use free, dear reader, to allow anyone who is interested in internet dating to be able to do so without any financial limitations.
**By meet I mean just that. Until I've known a man for some time I will not give him my address and neither should you.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
If I'm Doing This I Am Not Doing It Alone
For the sake of keeping my identity during this endeavor under wraps (and for your benefit, dear reader) for the entirety of this blog you can call me Kristin. Charmed, I'm sure.
When I finally caved and decided to internet date, I had the idea of keeping a blog of my experiences. Internet dating carries a certain stigma to the general public, as I'm sure you know. I've had it recommended to me at least a dozen times but refused to take the plunge. I didn't want to admit that I have trouble meeting men or that I'm one of the habitually single 20 somethings you see far too often roaming the streets. Why should I have to find my men on the internet?
The truth is after the warm, comforting demographic of a college campus finding eligible dating candidates becomes akin to finding a conservative at a Green Day concert. It's tough, to say the least. At least the men you meet on campus, though possibly still frat boys, have drive and ambition and, to a certain degree, education.
In all honesty, dear reader, I just don't get out enough. I am a busy professional with a tight schedule and a sizable commute to the city. Finding myself in a place aside from the gym where the men are my age is a daunting if not impossible task.
So, I threw in the towel. I gave up the fight and created free profiles on DownToEarth, PlentyOfFish, and OkCupid. I figured if I'm caving I might as well do it with pizazz.
The purpose of this blog is to both review these free dating sites (and the caliber of man found on each one) and to share every coffee, cocktail, and Coke from each date I go on throughout my journey. I'm glad to have your support on this, my dating safari. After all, we girls need to stick together.
Until next time,
Kristin
When I finally caved and decided to internet date, I had the idea of keeping a blog of my experiences. Internet dating carries a certain stigma to the general public, as I'm sure you know. I've had it recommended to me at least a dozen times but refused to take the plunge. I didn't want to admit that I have trouble meeting men or that I'm one of the habitually single 20 somethings you see far too often roaming the streets. Why should I have to find my men on the internet?
The truth is after the warm, comforting demographic of a college campus finding eligible dating candidates becomes akin to finding a conservative at a Green Day concert. It's tough, to say the least. At least the men you meet on campus, though possibly still frat boys, have drive and ambition and, to a certain degree, education.
In all honesty, dear reader, I just don't get out enough. I am a busy professional with a tight schedule and a sizable commute to the city. Finding myself in a place aside from the gym where the men are my age is a daunting if not impossible task.
So, I threw in the towel. I gave up the fight and created free profiles on DownToEarth, PlentyOfFish, and OkCupid. I figured if I'm caving I might as well do it with pizazz.
The purpose of this blog is to both review these free dating sites (and the caliber of man found on each one) and to share every coffee, cocktail, and Coke from each date I go on throughout my journey. I'm glad to have your support on this, my dating safari. After all, we girls need to stick together.
Until next time,
Kristin
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